oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
