you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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