So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
