How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
her facebook's as public as her vagina
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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