he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
