Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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