can u get pink eye on your cock?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
They are going to name an STD after you.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
