You're a womanizer and a bitch.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
