We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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