2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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