Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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