whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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