where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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