Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
