We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
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