I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
