I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize