I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
