is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
