Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
