this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
