he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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