If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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