We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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