But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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