Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
