porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
