Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
