i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize