the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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