did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
