dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
