Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
