She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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