Capitaan dildo arrescate!
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
