I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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