My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
