Apparently you make a good broom.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
