God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize