Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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