He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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