don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
