just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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