Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Can you bring me the toilet please
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
