Can i not drive my cunt home
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
