I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
