Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
