If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
