You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize