Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
