Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
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