"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
only if we run a train.
done.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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