do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
