Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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