Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
