check it out our google latitudes are spooning
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
