I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I need water and some morals
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
