Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
