remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
my being single is dangerous.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
