You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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