Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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