don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
