Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
