and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize