no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
