When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
