just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I want to fling myself into the sun
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
