if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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