Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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