So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
