are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
