You made me cry and you don't even care
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
