it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
