his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We have started to decorate penises.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
