There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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