Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize