I'm jealous of your bromance
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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